The healing power and wisdom of yoga has been a tremendous source of strength to me during my Grandmother’s (Mama’s) illness and her death. It has helped me to heal and deal with this difficult time.
My practice became my lifeline. Although I was aware that Mama was dying, it was still a shock when I received the phone call to inform me that she had passed away.
I made a conscious decision to attend and teach class that morning. I was so pleased that I went, there were so many messages in my practice that resonated with me. I was able to feel so spiritual and connected to myself. It also gave exactly what I needed at that time – which is hard to quantify, as I think I was still in state of shock.
When I subsequently taught, I was able to dedicate the practice to Mama. The class was not about me it was about the students. The feedback after the class was simply “wow” from one of the students, such a profound experience. I do not think anyone there knew what I was going through. From that moment I made it my purpose to celebrate her life!
I tried to function as normal, and to a great degree this was possible through teaching and practising. It helped me to maintain both balance and sanity. My senses were awakened and I became more aware of my body, which enabled me to feel better and able to deal with the situation and give my family the support that they required.
Yoga was able to provide me with the prospective to deal with the cycle of life, which we all have to endure. I have become a lot more accepting of this now.
I was given the honour of reading the Eulogy, something that filled me with some fear and dread. On the day of the Funeral, as you can appreciate it was understandably emotional.
The thoughts running through my mind were how am I going to read the Eulogy without breaking down, as the tears streaked down my face. My name was read out by the Pastor and suddenly the moment had arrived. My Grandfather who was sat beside me said, “Go slowly”. I then went up to the Pulpit and read the Eulogy. I amazed myself; I was able to find the composure to read without faultering. I was able to look around the Church and acknowledge all the support and love there from family and friends. Before I knew it was over. I was so relieved that it was over. Upon returning to my seat my Cousin turned to me and said you did well. Mama will have been proud. That all I wanted to do was to make her proud.
The yoga was able to allow me to discover more about myself, that I had more strength than I realised and allowing me to be more forgiving and accepting of the situation.
My breath became my strength and I was able to breathe through some of the emotions that I encountered. my new motto became “Inhale to excel”. I am now always preaching this in class.
This experience has shown me how yoga can be all encompassing and help with all situations that we encounter on our journey through life.
I can now fully appreciate why this great practice has evolved and has become an integral part of so many lives. Yoga is essentially all things to all people.
I am not saying the grieving process was easy; I began to see that staying focused and remaining mindful was the way to get through this.
The yoga allowed me to probe the grief. I somehow believe that I was able to integrate the grief into what I am. I certainly did not run away from it….
Yoga during this time for me equated to healing – and I believe that I was even a little bit transformed.
“I have uncovered my most beautiful gifts during most challenging times” – An inspired mind
Rest in peace Mama, Gone but not forgotten!!!